❓Do the work by yourself? or are these relationship things needed?
❓Do we have an epidemic of blocking, unfriending, ghosting?
❓Do we run away from the unknown, the uncomfortable, the scary too much?
❓Do we need to learn how to share space, love and energy with others?
I started out as a Life coach, and a nutrition coach, then a yoga teacher, now a tri coach, or epic hard stuff. It has been interesting to see the progression of myself and how I have more tools to help others achieve their goals and dreams, and help them to see that they can achieve a whole lot more than what they thought possible. Pretty hard cool, I get to see miracles. All the stinking time.
I have been working on myself, pretty heavy for the last 5 to 10 years. I have a lot to unravel, clean up, clear out and all that. Rebuild stronger. More resilient. Through all of this, I see with each step forward that my abilities to help others increases. Cool.
Currently I am learning that we really do need each other. This is probably one of the biggest things that we are getting wrong. That we feel like we have to figure stuff out on our own. Our culture teaches that. And let’s face it, being vulnerable and asking for help. We really suck at that. We are super judgy of ourselves and others which makes this line of thought even more of a challenge. Why would you want to make yourself vulnerable to someone when maybe you fear them judging you and being an ass, which, perhaps thats historically what has happened. And frankly, I don’t see ourselves as a culture improving on this much.
Social media is sure making this even more of a emotional habit/escape that we do. It’s so easy to unfriendly someone, to ghost them, to not communicate. And then to take it up a notch and to post silly self rationalizing things that make you feel better. Promote the person not taking responsibility for it. AND we get acknowledgement and positive re-informcement for that crap tactic behavior because either the people liking and encourage you doon’t know the story, their own story is trigger or we just like being bullies and self righteous judges of all things. That mob mentality.
🙂 Gosh. That was a lot. #nmf
So, these relationships that we find ourselves in. Rarely do they go perfect. There is some rubbing. Especially with time. Our friends and lovers, children and what not are mirrors for our own stuff. We love to leave those relationships because it’s hard to look in the mirror and see someone that really embraces the victim role, can be an asshole, Whiney, etc. How’s that for judgy. We all have our stuff that promotes behaviors that hurt others. Period. Looking in the mirror, seeing it and working on it takes bravery.
AND RELATIONSHIPS. it takes communication, lessons, practice and another person helping you to learn the lesson. Because for FUCK SAKES, this stuff doesn’t come from Amazon. We have to earn it. We have to earn trust, security with others, a good relationship, peace, etc. We have to do the work that is on our plate. We have to show up. Dig. Then wash rinse repeat. It’s a dance that we have to learn. With a partner.
Doing it by ourselves isn’t working. Truly. Look at us as a culture.
We have to communicate our people what we are working on, we have to do the work, they need to give us space to practice and gentle guidance when we need to change it up and keep working. Just like learning to shoot hoops, drive a golf ball. We try. We practice. We adjust. We practice. We get help. We continue. To practice.