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Time to cut the crap and prioritize my goals and dreams

This summer sure has been a lot. We had a busy race schedule. D had a lot of military commitments to accomplish. The boys decided to shift from homeschooling to brick and mortar school. Some personal issues that are lingering. The experience of the Madison 70.3 drownings. My own race at Ohio 70.3. The experience of the bikers death on course during Ohio. I decided to take on healing abuse and rape from my past head on.

These last couple of months had been a lot. I think I’ve adulted fairly well. Though admitted I did pack on 15 pounds and drank a bit too much there for a bit. Here I am. Coming out of much of that stuff. Stronger. More wise.

I totally want a big fat gold star for holding my own and not stabbing anyone. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

❤️❤️❤️I’m thankful that I signed up for Ironman Texas prior to all of that. ❤️❤️❤️

I like to use a big race to rationalize buying a new 💥Plum Papers journal💥 and working on something big. Big like Ironman. But this time around, big like being a better human being and with less of an injured soul. I’ve come to learn that only YOU can accomplish that. Once you are ready. We bounce from thing to thing, trying to find a comfortable place to learn our lessons. When in reality … we just need to stop. Do it. Work. Know it will be hard. And have faith on the other side things will be ok. So the $$ I dropped down for IMTX and that darn $50 journal has been the key factor in my continuing to move forward in the path I’m on now. I usually bale and go find a different road. Missing the lesson.

Coach John and D were talking the other day. And I was looking at Johns countdown numbers that he updates. DAILY. I started thinking … wow, that’s dedication. And a great tool to help him keep the eye on the prize. #gysd THEN … I was like … HOLY SHIT BK … You have no idea how many days to IMTX. And I started doing math in my head. And I started with a quick summary of my paces at the moment and what I want at Tx. And I walked out of his pain cave with a new resolve.

While adulting is critical. Handling your shit is important. So is prioritizing your goals and dreams.

SQUIRREL MOMENT …. Someone said to me a while back … not your monkeys not your circus, when I was looking for support for my things going on. And that really pissed me off (and I stopped going that way for support) because I didn’t want to abandon my boys to handle life on their own. Or take the avenue of counseling and what not when I know there are things I can do and offer. And I didn’t want to end certain relationships because of things and the non clarity of what’s going on. 🐒🐿🐵🐿🥜

So I need to find the balance of taking care of some of this big stuff on my plate but I also need to make sure that I am prioritizing my goals and dreams.

💥 13:50 Ironman Texas

💥 Happiest kids on the block

💥 Brilliant marriage

💥 Guide Brave Soul and the Wolfpack to the next level

So … in conclusion … let’s wrap this up!!

✅ I need to stop sleeping to much being in a mini potty party. And I need to eat with excellence so I can help the body recover from the copious amounts of stress that has resulted in the need for more sleep.

✅ I need to hold better boundaries with those around me. Hold them to doing what they can for themselves more.

✅ Do that first thing better so my anxiety and general sense of upheaval lessens. So I can communicate more effectively.

✅ GYSD

✅ HONOR my beings need for self care and prioritize that as well.

YOU ARE AWESOME!
bonnie-sig

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The days when you just don’t want to swim

There was really no way that I was going to get into the water and swim. Admittedly it was because I was pretty irritated with one aspect of my life ... being late. And it's mostly my fault. I didn't get up on time. I have arranged my life to have so much on my plate that coupled with the not getting up on time .... and just life. Life has been a bit much lately. So ... there was zero way that I was getting into the pool. Mostly because I didn't want to mess with my nose being messed up for the majority of the time. It's a thing with power mostly. We live so much of our lives being told what to do, people influencing how things go ... so much of our lives we con't have a lot of control over. We don't really like being jerked around and our day constantly pulled sideways. Day in and day out. It really has a way of wearing us down. Then when you see that the consistent effort/activity that you KNOW you need to do isn't getting accomplished. Sometimes no fault of your own. You feel powerless. Frustrated. Irritated. Our internal toddler rebels and tries to exert some power over a situation. To try and restore some "balance". Be it ... eat a whole thing of donuts. Stay up and drink a beer and watch TV. Or not swim. (Or all of the above.) hahahaha #nmf So I didn't swim. I'm coaching two people to swim. I'm taking a bit of a mental time out. And writing this blog. AND STRETCHING MY HAMSTRINGS So ... is it a win? I think so. Besides, I have the opportunity to swim later today. And by all means, some days you just need to get your shit done. Get your ass into the pool. For me ... if I don't actually get my swim done tonight ... then next time that toddler shows up we will need to rethink things.

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