Home / Education / Stop Telling People to Calm Down

Stop Telling People to Calm Down

😥 It makes them more upset.

👎🏻 It tells them you think they are at fault, something is wrong with them.

✍️It tells them that you have judged their feelings and it’s bad.

💂‍♂️💂‍♂️💂‍♂️It tells them that you are not there or available to help them deal with their feelings.

As someone that has/does struggle with anxiety and depression, at one point at a fairly serious level … telling someone to calm down is … a little bossy and unkind. Maybe even selfish.

Struggling with feelings like that is very difficult and feels horrible. I think that when we tell folks to calm down it’s more of an out for us to not have to dig a bit deeper and help that person … meaning you have to get your hands a bit dirty.

You have to experience some of what they are feeling. Get a little uncomfortable. Be ok with not having a solution for them and just share space and time with them.

I know for me … if one of my trusted people just listens to me, doesn’t judge me and stands in my space and helps me “stand” … I call down much faster. And if I’m really upset physical tough by my most trusted, the warmth and weight, helps my body physically calm down. Mentally … no. At that point the body is RAMPED up and needs a body solution to come back down.

Don’t be afraid to not judge yourself. To accept who you are. To love that part too. Everyone has these feelings. Some of us … due to this or that … have a system that works a little different. Don’t let people judge you for these harder to deal with emotions. It says more about them than you. Yes you need to keep your shit together. But you don’t do it alone. And you aren’t broken.

#bravesoulcoaching #dolovebelove


Get weekly email nuggets of awesomeness! You'll LOVE the info!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Check Also

Biking Faster: Lactate Threshold

author: Coach John Hill

In part one, we discussed the benefits of increasing of VO2max numbers and why it is important to get these numbers as high as possible. Today, we will talk about the second factor to increase your average speed, lactate threshold.

Lactate threshold is the point at which lactic acid starts to accumulate in the blood faster than it can be removed, usually beginning around 85% of maximum heart rate. The advantage to the endurance athlete is that the higher our lactate threshold, the longer we can go at high intensity.

How do we raise our lactate threshold? Once again, interval training becomes or best ally; by doing intervals for 2-3 minutes at 5-7 beats above your threshold level (85% of max HR), we teach our body to clear the lactic acid faster for quicker recovery.



After a good 15 minute warm up, ride 10 minutes at 3-5 beats below your LT (Lactate threshold), recover with an easy spin for 10 minutes, then repeat 2 more circuits. Once you're comfortable at this level do two twenty minute sets at 3-5 beats below LT then recover for 20 minutes,eventually what we are shooting for is a 30 minute effort at just below LT. This will build a strong base to increase the lactate threshold at a fairly rapid rate.

This workout combines both LT and VO2 max training to simulate the effort you need while reading on a hilly course, where you have to push beyond you lactate threshold for short bursts then recover quickly
1. Warm up for 10 minutes at a moderate pace 
2. Pick up your pace to your LT heart rate and hold that place for 5 minutes 
3. Push to 3-5 beats above LT for one to two minutes then drop back down to LT. 
Do 3 cycles for a total workout of 18- 20 minutes

Want more: Check out our 
Faster in 5 Weeks Online Program Bike Program

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

44 + = 53