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Food prep for the busy triathlete

No one is going to argue that eating well is super important. Now what to eat ... thats a different blog for a different time. 😎🥳

We aren't going to argue that food is fuel. And a lot of us understand that food is so much more than fuel. And one of the biggest things that we ARE NOT is CONSISTENT. So enter the habit of food prepping.

  • Carbs, proteins and fats provide the energy to burn
  • Micronutrients like vitamin c and magnesium support a plethora (PLETHORA) of processes that go on in the body. Like magnesium so you don't cramp and have restless legs at night.
  • Phyto-chemicals or plant substrates do a ton of stuff like protect your DNA, protect against cancer, decrease the risk of heart disease and on and on.
  • Zoo-chemicals or animal provided substrates reduce inflammation and blood clotting, suppress cancer cell development and inhibit complications from diabetes to hit some big ones.
  • You also get some organic molecules form your food that help, such as bacteria that helps your body to produce B12.

So in order for the triathlete to achieve the following, we need to do our best to eat right. In my experience and training, the majority (75 to 90% of women triathletes aren't eating enough calories, a different blog for a different time, and certainly not getting all the "stuff" from food that they need.

  • Fuel your body for activity
  • Provide the basic building blocks, like sodium, in order to support the activity AND do vital jobs like keep your brain cool so you don't melt your brain and die (thats how the body thinks of it).
  • Provide the building blocks like amino acids to aide in recovery and repair. Why do a hard work out if in 10 days you aren't going to see the results because you didn't eat good enough to give the body what it needs?
  • Support all the hormonal functions like sleeping well, regulating metabolism, keeping that sex drive UP, supporting bone health and the list goes on and on and on ...
  • Keeping you from getting sick. Let's be real ... who wants to get sick when the training gets really real? How does it feel to miss that LONG brick?
  • Keeps your brain happy
  • Which keeps the house happy
  • Insert beautiful orchestra chord.

So here are some simple ideas on how to look at food prep. WHICH STARTS AT THE STORE!

Admittedly, this one is for those that are ok with the Zoo-chemicals.

  • Hard Boiled Eggs: Cook a dozen or more and have sitting in your frig. Adding sirachi mayo or something to spice it up is a wonderful snack. And salt. ADD THE SALT.
  • NUTS: Brazil nuts for the guys which provides selenium for better testosterone levels. Ladies too. You need this. Salted almonds. Cashews. Nut butters.
  • AVOCADOS: Great source of fat and protein. Be mindful that there are some carbs in them. OH THE SALT!!! ;)
  • Cook up hamburger patties and store in the frig. Like 10 of them. Then you can add a bit of a dressing or tear up into a quick salad or mix with some sautéed veggies that you prepped.
  • Sautéed Veggies: chop up some veggies, add the garlic and onions (stupid good for female health and heart health). Add to meals when you are rolling through your day.
  • Breakfast burritos: Cook up veggies, scrambled eggs (like 12 of them), and make a whole pan of yumminess. Then package in a torilla wrap. You can add flaxseed and other goodness to kick it up a notch.
  • Cook beets like eggs and have them in the frig to eat ala cart or add to your smoothies.
  • Breakfast: handful of nuts, a bit of oatmeal, a bit of berries and add extras. Put in food prep containers and BOOM! Add hot water to eat. On the GO GO GO nutrition.
  • Purchase clean family serving dishes of meat. BOOM!
  • Get containers to put in breakfast, salads, dinner, etc.

There are so many things that you can do if you practice and get into the habit of prep prep. Plus if you are just a bit more mindful, you can involve your kids and teach them vital and precious skills for cooking and the LOVE for good food. TO LOVE THEIR BODIES. To nurture themselves. This is one of the biggest things we need to be role modeling to our little people. You can get your spouses involved. If you are a lady ironman in training, this is one great way of involving that husband that might get to feeling left out. I'm not saying give him the task of meal food prepping and all that, just a little bit of involvement will go a long way to not leaving him on the side of the street.

CONSISTENCY!!!! Being consistent and having the attitude that we need to take care of our bodies, not keep pushing pushing pushing, we will get way better results and in general be more content and happy. And everyone around you will benefit. :)

Plus this is more time efficient so you will rock out mid and later in the week when training and life has got you pressed. You can throw together a wonderful meal and then someone will probably rub your feet because your a super mom or dad or whatever. :) <3

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Change up Your Swim Pace

We can get pretty lazy when it comes to swimming. We show up to the pool, maybe after a struggle to find our stuff, get there, deal with traffic, deal with the pool schedule, deal with the other exercisers that you need to share the pool with ...

And then some of us aren't really paying attention when we swim. We don't want to. We don't like swimming. Swimming makes us feel slow, dumb, not good, inept.

So sometimes our mindfulness and effort aren't in it all the way. We lose focus. We aren't paying attention to our form. We aren't giving it a good effort, or our best effort.

Here is a good workout to help with changing that up.

This workout helps build top-end speed and helps you improve your ability to change pace, which is a vital skill all triathlon swimmers need to learn.

✅ Staying in the game. Paying attention.

✅ Learning to work with your breath, have control of it

✅ Learning to pick up the effort without the heart rate and breathing becoming too labors. Calm and Strong. Not frantic.


🌟This workout helps build your race pace.

🌟This workout also helps you to control your breathing and effort.

🌟This workout will help you to learn to change up your pace, a vital skill needed for racing and dealing with the open water swimming.


On this workout, be mind full of the paddles. Reduce arm turnover and focus on good form. When using the pull buoy, this is your opportunity to focus on rotation.


Warm-Up: 200 your choice
Main Set: Changing it up-16 x 25 yards, every 4th fast-300 yards, steady swim-12 x 25 yards, every 3rd fast-300 yards, paddles-8 x 25 yards, every 2nd fast-300 yards, pull buoy-4 x 25 yards, all fast-300 yards, paddles and pull buoy
Cool-Down: 100 choice

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BEING A MOM IS A BRAVE JOB FOR WARRIORS OF LOVE

Being a mom is one of the bravest jobs. You start out pregnant (or adopting) and ... you kind of can be in denial for a bit until your belly grows and you have to start buying stuff you don't know how to put together.

You quickly learn that you really don't have a clue what you are doing. So you need to get brave real quick. Learn. Ask questions and hopefully work to get some sort of footing under you.

Giving birth is ... a challenge. It can be one of the most beautiful things but it can be the most scary as well.

You can experience losing babies, things going bad, loss, grief. And in the face of that, some try again and again. Being brave.

You might have had a great mom and childhood. Or you might have not. Not to make one worse than the other, but seriously, that book ... what to expect when you are expecting ... it's about 30% of what you really need to know. When you've come from less, being handed that infant to love, take care of, not break or otherwise .... whatever ... it's a rather large tasks that is way FREAKING OVERWHELMING.

But as a mom ... if you can get 3 moments or so of ... beauty ... it is all ok. The hours of crying melt away when you get that moment of peace with a cheek on your breast, or a naked foot peeking out from under the covers.

They grow up. You grow up. You learn. They learn. Hopefully things go well.

Some moms have to learn more and do more. They have been given the children that need more. The book gives zero help on this stuff. This is where you have to be brave brave. Especially if you don't have help or feel like what is around you isn't helping and doesn't align with you as a parent. Like when your child has learning issues or other ... specialness.

Momming is super hard.

Moms leave. Moms die. Moms aren't there. And sometimes, the child is left to learn on their own. And to become a mom of their own design. Scary stuff.

It is a hard lesson to learn that their spiritual and personal growth isn't always up to you.

Being a good mom is important to you. You are your own worst critic. As you want so much good for your babies. You want to do it "RIGHT". Making mistakes is tough ... as you wonder if it will mess up their leaves.

Sometimes it's with your mistakes that they learn from. And it is super hard to watch your children makes mistakes. It's hard to leave enough room to allow them to make mistakes.

So moms go into this thing with bravery. And the desire to do the best that they can. It is so tough to have part of your heart and soul out wandering around the world. The world that is a tough place and getting tougher.

Be brave. Do the best you can. LOVE HARD.

(people ... tell your mom they are awesome!)

BEING A MOM IS A BRAVE JOB FOR WARRIORS OF LOVE

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I can’t find any of my ducks

I have a lot on my plate. Who doesn't? At the beginning of this year I threw down some big personally goals, most of those dealing with more emotional intelligence sprinkled with a ton of soul healing sprinkles. So I'm trying to get my ducks in a row enough to minimize the cray cray that my people around need need to deal with and helpfully for me to be able to have enough clear discernment to do this reasonable well. Not too much to ask right!?!?! Well ... I have some pretty decent sized soft spots that I'm wanting/asking/need to work on. Blah blah blah. You know the places in the soul that go with childhood trauma and drama, relationships that turned out to be like crashing airplanes and ... blah blah blah. So I'm focusing on rounding up and herding these ducks.

I'm a good enough duck.

I'm a safe duck.

I can do EPCI SHIT duck.

Not all the ducks in my space are MY DUCKS and I don't need to let them jerk my ducks around.

This duck herding business tho, it's been pretty intense because what I'm finding out is that ... I'm needing to learn how to deal with other peoples ducks. Like some people just let their darn ducks get into my pasture and mislead, confused and another wise brain wash my my ducks. And off they go. Or ... I have these ducks in my pasture that aren't my ducks and I adopt them. Like I have time and energy for that. It just gets so confusing. Historically I have talking/vented/blah blah blah with my person on this stuff. And while that is good. I would like to develop a better habit of dealing with the duck cluster thing. Who's ducks are whose. And which duck do I need to herd first. Meditation. Yep. I haven't been doing enough and I need to but honestly ... I need something a little more concrete and tangible right now. So Becky and I were chatting, I need to write the ducks down. And this is the ONE time that auto correct gets it right. From fuck to duck. Prefect! Hahahahaha.

🤭🤗🤣🤣🤣👊🏻

So in my journal where I keep all things that I want to manifest the heck out of, aka the super women journal that enables me to do EPIC SHIT ... I'm going to work on a section labeled "Ducks". I am already in love with the idea, as me and my 5 other personalities can write stuff down, work through it and everyone can contribute words to help work through things. AND I can practice ...

FAITH

PATIENCE

WISDOM

... In dealing with the duck that has gotten itself too far away from the herd. Or whatever a group of ducks is. I really love this idea as I struggle with not dealing with something, that makes me feel bad, not let a problem go. Like I'm not standing up for my feelings, values and what not. But also I like this idea because I LOVE LOVE LOVE when i manage to let magic come into the picture and take care of STUFF for me. BOOM. And this magic journal that I have. This is the place for it to happen.

🌸Personal growth. Being brave. Honest. Persistency moving forward. Adapting. 💫

🔥🔥🔥Adjusting Fire🔥🔥🔥

❤️Hopefully with less road rash for myself and those special people around me that matter most.❤️

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What Ironman Triathlon Did for my life

I was chatting with a fellow Ironman Triathlete about coaching earlier this morning and we were having a little chuckle about how your perspective changes after a season or two of ironman. You get to a place where you have a ton of mental Grit to get done (and do it well) just about anything you set your mind to. And just a ton of other wonderful things that happen. Let's looking at this awesome list. Mental Grit: There is something that happens when you push yourself past self imposed limitations, over and over, and learn that yes there are limits, but usually we stop way before those. I was really gifted with this two times, once in my first IM in Wisconsin during the swim portion. I had almost drowned as a child so getting to the point of being able to do the swim well without freaking the heck out was a ton of mental grit, through the whole season and race day. It's was one of my most beautiful life moments. The other was doing the very best that I could at IMTX in 2018, where during the run it was a full moon, I was praying, and running. Running when I didn't want to. Running when everyone else was walking. Running to chase down a time that I knew I wouldn't get, but doing the best I could anyway. Heal your soul: When you allow yourself get stripped down during ironman season ... you see things about yourself that don't serve you anymore. Things that you know need to evolve in order to get the astronomical task done. If you're brave enough to face your demons and help them to heal ... your soul heals. You evolve into that next best version of yourself. And it's so much quicker than a lot of personal growth challenges. The feedback is pretty immediate. Kinda like pixie dust if you go the chops to look at it like that. A story from my life, I almost drowned when I was little. And that was surrounded by ample amounts of childhood trauma. So the swim anxiety that I experienced during swim was of the extreme nature. Through a series of hard experiences, many failures, techniques, not giving up and a whole bunch more ... I managed to move past fake it until you make it, to healing my heart. It was such a wonderful experience to complete my first ironman swim, Wisconsin Mass Swim start, probably one of the best experiences to be had, with no anxiety. That is the first time that I really grasped that I could move past my childhood issues. That I didn't have to live a life of dealing with my crazy. Some of it I could transform into a healed cornerstone of strength. Strong Body: If you are doing the training right, your body goes through a series of evolutions where you heal through injuries. If you have the help that you need, you end up cultivating a body that is more sound and balanced. You are left with a body that is epically strong, the mind is a metric f ton stronger and you feel invincible. You might still be a little fluffy and imperfect, but that's really not the point. Confidence: You have achieved something most people wouldn't do. You've done something that you thought you couldn't. You know how to approach fear and challenges and come out on top. AND .... sometimes those things roll downhill and affect your friends, family and maybe even the little people. #thelittlesarealwayswatching Training for something very difficult can be very rewarding. It can be very hard and I have seen where people don't make it. They turn and go another direction. And thats ok. You have to be READY to take on that challenge. Not feel like you are ready. Not think that you are ready. It's a little secret that your soul shares with you, drives you forward. When you are doing something and you think to yourself ... why the heck did I think this was a good idea, but somewhere in a secret place in your heart, a voice says to keep going. That READY. If you aren't ready for the difficulties, that just means you have other work to do to get ready. And that doesn't mean that attempting an ironman isn't where you do the "get ready" part. There is nothing that says that everyone will complete their mission the first time out. In fact, on paper that is just silliness. Most people that accomplish big A things fall on their face the first time. GRACE AND GRIT: Thats what I think triathlon and ironman really gifts you with. Hopefully we all learn that we are all very capable. We are all enough. We are all FREAKING badassly awesome and we don't have anything to prove. These hard things are just to help us learn and grow. Not prove a damn thing. Doesn't matter if you are overweight and doing ironman. Or a pro athlete finishing first. We are all wonderful human beings that have a voice, have a story and need to SHINE our love and gifts out to the world. This is what I think ironman helps us learn how to do. At an Ironman. At life. As a parent. Spouse. Friend. This is why I tell my athletes .... train train train for the best damn finisher picture you can. This attitude is the sum total of this. To let your heart and soul shine when you FINISH your goal. When you ACCOMPLISH what you set out to do. You will look back and see that on the inside ... you are soo beautiful and strong. You are enough. And you're badass. ;) <3

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Stress and Your Gut Health

The Anatomy of Stress

Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl, once said, “Between stimulus and thought, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.”

It has been shown that stress creates more wear and tear on the body when
associated with negative thoughts, or if we don’t think we’re coping well with it.
Reframing your stress can build your mental and physical resilience to the
challenges in your life.

STRESS DOES THE FOLLOWING!!!!

1. Stress results in less secretion of digestive enzymes, causing the pH of the stomach to not be as low as what is optimal for good digestion.

2. Stress causes oxygen and blood are diverted from digestion to the brain and muscles/etc instead.

3. Allostatic load: the wear and tear on the body due to the physiological responses that accumulate with chronic stress.

What is STRESS??? Stress is any type of physical, mental, or emotional factor that causes tension in the body. This tension causes chemical, physical or behavioral changes. Stress, or the fight or flight response, is an evolutionary mechanism for survival of the species. It is innate to us, usually on autopilot, and very much needed. However, our lifestyle and society, has caused this system to get overworked and undertaken care of.

  • WORK stress, meetings, unhappiness on the job, constant deadlines, conflict
  • Exercise is stress. Endurance training is a lot of physical stress.
  • Heat and dealing with heat is stress.
  • Mental Stress: relationship, trauma, responsibilities, conflict
  • Physical stress: Intense workouts, childbirth, illness, injury, lack of sleep, food intolerances, toxins, pollutants
  • Stress can be "real" or "perceived"
  • Stress is meant to be a short term solution to take care of an immediate need
  • Acute stress: short term stress. Normal. Perhaps what you feel right before a race. It gets you "READY". Causes the body to preform on an elevated and focused level. Enhance performance by helping you to "keep your eye on the prize".
  • Chronic stress: long term stress. Not normal or beneficial. Like caring for a dying parent.

Sympathetic Nervous System: Gas of the car

  • "fight or flight"
  • slows the movement of food, prepares for action
  • kick into gear, more energy

Parasympathetic Nervous System: Brakes of the car

  • "rest and digest"
  • controls digestion, sexual arousal, salivation, urination, and defecation
  • conserves energy for survival activities

Hypothalamus gland in the brain tells the pituitary to turn on certain hormones in the adrenal glands, such as cortisol. This activates the sympathetic nervous system. This increases your heart rate, increases the blood flow to muscles and the brain and affects your blood sugar. Blood sugar rises to provide fuel, providing glucose to be super available in the blood stream, via the liver breaking down sugar instead of sending bile to the gall bladder. Norepinephrine is also released. This hormone works to increase blood pressure, along with epinephrine. The adrenal glands make adrenaline. The body then prioritizes whats going on in the body. Smooth muscles contract, including the intestines. Blood is diverted from the blood vessels the the muscles and the brain. So you are able to have mental sharpness and do a quick escape. Not getting eaten by the tiger. Blood and digestive enzymes will decrease, as they aren't a priority at the moment.

After the initial "surge" from stress, if the stressor is still present the body then activates the HPA axis. Hypothalamus, Pituitary Adrenal axis. This hormonal system works to keep the body in a state to be able to continue to deal with the stressor by release other hormones, CRH, ACTH and cortisol.

These hormones, over time will ...

  • Increased belly fat: Cortisol. Visceral ab fat. Dangerous fat. Cytokyes, causes inflammation. Heart disease, vascular disease, depression, dementia and poor blood sugar management, low muscle tone, increased appetite.
  • Food intolerances/food allergies: Chemicals during stress the body releases chemicals such as Histamines which will intensify allergies.
  • Leaky gut: Mucosal barrier takes a hit during stress. Inflammation breaks down the barrier. Then a lot bunch of bad things happens. Absorption issues, blood flow is diverted away intestines . Allergies. Hormonal imbalances.
  • Elevated blood sugar: Cortisol prevents insulin, which puts glucose into cells. Too much sugar in the blood. Insulin resistance. Plus the sugar molecule is large. And hurts the endothelial lining.
  • Increased inflammation: anxiety, depression. This becomes a run away train.
  • An altered microbiome: Affects diversity of health bacteria. Diversity is part of health and wellness.
  • Increased risk for GERD, acid reflux, indigestion, and ulcers: Protective lipids affected, which protects the precious mucosal gut lining
  • Aggravated IBS symptoms: More sensitive to pain. In the gut.
  • Increased risk for SIBO: Movement affected out. So bad bacteria isn't "swept out".
  • Lowered immunity: Cortisol suppresses the immune function.

Also. New stress points are "recollaborated" or set. So ... you've gotten use to being under chronic stress. So more hormones are needed to get that sharp response that is needed at times. This can lead to times when you notice you don't "respond" quickly to things that you know you should. Like ... an issue in traffic or when your kid runs out in traffic and you are "stuck in place".

REFRAME STRESS ACTIVITY

  • Event: My top employee quit.
  • Stress Story: I may lose my job. He never liked me anyway. My numbers are going to go down, and it will take forever to find someone new. Emotion/Response: Fear New
  • New Stress Story: I’ll find another employee – one who’s a good fit and happy to fill the current role. Emotion/Response: Hopeful

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Triathlon Life Balance Training Journal with Plum Paper

Self - Family - Life - Work - Training

Ironman (aka LIFE!!!) Training Journal ... because it's a big darn deal and you need to have your mind right!!!! PlumPaper.com really has it going on with creating a journal that is just perfect for you. Mainly because you can customize it to help you BALANCE your #trilife You can add all these different aspects of life:
 Swim / Bike / Run  Yoga / Strength / Chill  Eating / Resting  Priorities  Focus  Daily Gratitude List  Habit tracker  Focus areas  Task List It's just freaking awesome. I created a mini video to show you how. Which is just the tip of the ice berg on what you can do!!! If you want a DISCOUNT code ... message below and I can email you and save you $10. Which is about 25%. COMMENT BELOW!!!! This journal really is very useful ... even if you're not HIM or IM training. I just made one that is more ... life balancing and such. The exercise portion was minimal in my 2nd one!

BALANCE

https://youtu.be/8ejiJQ86QSg EMAIL ME if you'd like a discount code!  BraveSoulCoaching@gmail.com ORRRR!!! If you'd like to do a free athlete health assessment, lets do that and I'll email you the code along with all the recommendations. www.bonniekissinger.com/aha

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Endurance Triathlon Strength Training

GOOD ARTICLE

http://www.bonniekissinger.com/get-faster-with-strength-training/

STEP 1:  Trans Ab Test

https://youtu.be/pBW16_q4cLQ

 HIP Anatomy and Strength

https://youtu.be/l8rVI-5WhEM

Strength Work for SI Joint

https://youtu.be/uo1kFryOMlU

Sample Strength

[box]Plank / shoulder protract/retract. 1 min x3 Globet squats. 3 sets of 12. Standing reverse fly. 3 sets of 12 (5 pounds) Leg Press. 3 sets of 12. Cross arm cable pull. 3 sets of 12 (light weight) Dead lift. 3 sets of 12. Standing single arm row. 3 sets of 12 (light weight) Standing double arm row. 3 sets of 12 (light weight) Cable/band hamstring kick back. 3 sets of 12. Medium weight with correct mechanics. [/box]

Single DeadLifting

https://youtu.be/z4yJ7mGVvJE  

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Be your own boss, like a boss, or you will be bossed around

Today’s blog is brought to you by my attempt at balancing building my own business, working for someone else and putting food in my kids mouth. (And paying for heart surgeries). Admittedly I don’t take being bossed around well. I don’t know if it’s me and my personality or that I just don’t deal well with crappy bosses. Maybe a combo. I do think that I do ok with folks telling me what to do. I don’t think I do well when I don’t have room to do things with excellence , if thats outside of their status quo / expectations. Certainly if what they want me to do goes against my ethics. That’s a real big rub. One of the main reasons for the beginning of the end of my 9-5 engineering gig. I know that in the past I would take things personal and all that. Now ... I think I just don’t do well with disrespect and lack of adulting ability. Definitely tho ... I have work to do. Roger that. Today, with some work related drama in the background ... I think about the fact that I haven’t been the best boss to myself. - I for sure in the past haven’t given myself enough praise - I might not give myself enough grace in recognizing that making changes is hard and needs more of the above to help facilitate a perm change - Definitely too critical and default to being to hard on myself - I tend to not honor the boundaries that I set for myself and others - I am not the best at being consistent but I am getting better at this AT this sentence I think a big fat pause is needed in this conversation! PAUSE!!! Let’s take a second to look at terms and maybe open up to different thoughts in this area. BOSS = ?? When we say boss ... what does your mind say to you? What filter do you automatically put in place. “Person in charge”.  Your thought: oh, I need to behave differently. Your thoughts ... LEADER= ?? PARTNER= ?? MENTOR= ?? Anyway. The point is .... how do you really view the person that is “above” you. In that place of guidance and leadership. I believe that the person is suppose to be teaching you a lesson. That the catch 22 is that maybe it’s the terrible “boss” that is suppose to be teaching you the lesson. Funny how karma makes things so zesty and fun to figure out. POINT IS ... Are you being a good leader to yourself? Are you inspiring yourself to work differently to improve and reach towards your next goals. Is your job “boss” inspiring the same? Do your principles align with theirs? So many hard questions. Let’s pull this point into a convo that you have a lot of control on. Influence. YOU BEING YOUR OWN EXCELLENT BOSS. Even if you have to go to a J O B, you can still be your own boss. Leader. Inspire-er of all this epic and awesome. 1. KNOW WHO YOU ARE What you stand for. This is the make it or break it. You know (mindful) of who you really are, or hold the one with the boundaries that honor that. The ship sinks. This is why Franklin Covey in the planners starts out with your principles. (Truth needs to be present here. The deep down, who you are. Not ... “good mom” or whatever. YOU. Deep down. The stuff on your tombstone. for me .... I am a person that says the truth. “Satya”. So if I have to tell an untruth or be in the gray area, this is a big fat rub for me personally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. 2. BUILD TRUST So considering that you know who you are and what you stand for. Build trust with yourself by honoring your ethics and beliefs. AND.... When you say you are going to do something. Do it. For your own trust with yourself. As well as having others trust you. for me .... I like to help others, a lot. I probably tend to sway that side more (maybe to fill my “acceptable account”) than compared to my “truth account”. So I will allow others to cross a boundary or two because I am “helping” them, at the cost of my own ethics, and not speaking my truth. Honoring who I am. As a result, I lose trust in myself, in a deep down sense. So my action step, in knowing who I AM, appropriately communicating boundaries with myself (or others) and HOLD THE LINE. In as pleasant a way as possible. Not being afraid to step on toes, don’t shy away in an attempt to fill the “acceptance account”. Go to flipping sleep at 10 or 10:30, BK! Do it. Stop jacking around with that bed time/boundary. 3. PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE It is so hard, but we really need to get into a better mental and emotional habit of defaulting to praise vs criticism or even constructive feedback. And praise ourselves. Praise others. FIRST. Focus on what is working. Not what needs fixed. You might be wrong about the issue, or just completely full of feces. Positivity. Focus on what’s working and is always the way to go. for me .... Reward myself. Quiet time in the bath. Coffee outside watching the birds. Little sticky notes that say “good job BK, you rocked that!”  (and not internalize other's judgments on my actions) 4. INSPIRE I have a favor saying. #thelittlesarewatcing A parenting truth. Your children do what you do. Not what you say. And if you constantly say something differently then they do .... OMG. The problems that ensue. Zero trust. They might actively do the opposite of what you want to express the face that you might be full of feces. INSPIRE = fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative. If #1, #2 and #3 are done well, this one naturally happens. Especially if you are thinking about how that person (or you ) think, learn, express themselves and feel .... you will be a rockstar in connecting and just rocking your jam. Inspiring others is a fully thing. It comes for you doing YOU EXCELLENTLY, giving all your heart and soul. Those that need to see that and experience it will be placed right in front of you. BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE (even if it is totally opposite what’s manifesting at that point in time) for me.... I need to fill my life with people that are inspiring me. Simple as that. Read inspiring things. Watch inspiring things. Fill my soul with what’s inspiration. 5. CONSTRUCTIVE OBSERVATIONS Communicating feedback is so important. Your relationship with yourself, with others and etc is a two way street. That is a truth. It completely maps up with that smartie Isaac Newton and his equal and opposite reaction law. You do something. There will be an affect. Feedback in and of itself isn’t good or bad. Positive or negative. Getting into the habit of giving positive feedback can be hard as we are a society that LOVES to take all the credit, not give credit to others and also to be obsessed with the negative. What’s not working.  Or how I'm so awesome and did this all myself, as help is construed as negative.  "I couldn't do it myself." This positive feedback is the foundation of everything. Good parenting. Good dog training. Good coaching. Good relationship. Good self management. On the opposite side of the coin, expressing the other feedback is equally important. (Truth, sometimes the lessons come the hard and uncomfortable way. Or most of the time). We just usually suck at it or shy away from conflict because others suck at it ... or we are delusional and think we are always right. We aren’t all that good at looking it the mirror ... in an objective and constructive (loving) way. Constructive observation instead of criticism. If you do this and the panties get in a wad, you know that the issue isn’t (usually) with what you said or what not, but more in the person in front of you. If that happens to be you ... then you need to have a reality check with your competing behaviors. And as my coach says to me all the time, “get your mind right Kissinger”. for me.... I need to journal daily to communicate with myself. See what I’ve been doing well. What I can work on. Where my bullshit is at (Roger that!) Use the journalling platform to be the best boss of mine that I can be. CAN I GET A HELL YEAH!?!? ;) Final thoughts. STOP FREAKING BULLYING YOURSELF. Be a good boss. A leader to yourself. Not a jerk face. Do not be afraid to fire people. ;). Maybe they need a different job. Do that and the others around you will probably naturally follow suit. Or things will get cleaned up. Either way. Winner winner chicken dinner.

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The Dash in the Middle Matters

We talk about goals. I want to do this. I want to do that. I want to lose weight. I want to do a marathon. I want to be a better mom and human being. I want to fix the anxiety. We set goals. We have these big things that we want to do. We can get really wrapped up in that the end looks like. When we begin ... most of the time we already have set the expectation of what success looks like. And it is usually borrowed from somewhere/someone else .... We might become very rigid in what that looks like.  Become very attached to "creating" that exact thing or how we perceive it to "look".  Like... my 401K needs to have this amount of money it in because that is the only way I'm going to have security when I'm older.  Or .... my kid has to turn out to gotten all good grades and went through college and got a good job and a good marriage in order for me to check mark that I was a good parent.  Or ... I have to hit my marathon goal to prove that I am a good enough athlete, that I'm not slow and pathetic".  I think that some amount of that is important. To hold the line. (I don’t believe in everyone gets a participation ribbon, sometimes the line needs to be far enough that some fail. So the lessons are learned). Goals are GREAT. But the truth is that everything is changing all the time.  Facts of science. And it’s just common sense that if that is true, hahaha, which it is, then the end picture if you will, has a high likelihood of looking different than what you envisioned when you started.  You almost want to really embrace this because it means (proves) that you did change.  Because we want to change.  If the goal is big enough, and heart felt ones always are ... you have to be different in order to accomplish it.  Thats growth.  You are either growing or you are dying.  (THE DASH)  We need to learn how to be flexible with those changes so we roll with the slight adjustments along the way. That is where faith comes in. Faith that when you GET ON THE ROAD, and work your ass of to go down the road, hopefully faster than slower, you don’t freak the heck out on the slight detours that might just gift you with most awesome stuff .... That lack of faith or freaking out at the detours can very well cause you to cheat yourself out of something glorious or the whole flipping goal. DO NOT FREAK OUT HAVE FAITH (plus be brave, look at what’s in front of you, pick up what you need, use the darn thing, and continue forward) I do believe that all our goals, if we look close enough, have ties to our heart. “I want to lose this stupid 20 pounds!”. DEEP down I believe this stems from the #heartgoal of wanting to develop better self love activities, take better care of ourselves, love ourselves more, do the right things, etc. I do not believe that we REALLY want or are designed to drink our life away, or play small all the time or live a boring ass life that doesn't make a dent anywhere.  (A positive dent thank you very much!)  Yeah, a lot will get hung up on fitting in the cute jeans, tri shorts, etc .... but I do truly believe that underneath that is the TRUE DESIRE to love ourselves more so we see (outwardly shine) a more attractive version of ourselves. It is the visual feedback that we accomplished the REAL CHANGE we wanted,  the self love habits accomplished. It’s the journey that matters. We begin. And we end. We start out gloriously perfect. We ALWAYS have the part of ourselves that is gloriously perfect and bright (we just cover it up). And we will always die. What you can influence with the “dash”. What you do in the middle is what matters. Did you take the detour and help a stranger, perhaps save a life and grace yourself a bit too ... or did you freak the f out and make life harder on yourself and those around you? THE DASH MATTERS. What you do with the dash is what brightens life. What graces others. What dictates not the end number or the end goal, but how big of a smile there was.  What gets WRITTEN ON YOUR TOMBSTONE is the dent you make.  What do you want written on yours? This is why I tell my athletes, GET THE BEST RACE PICTURE EVER! It represents all the blood, sweat and tears that it took to get there. It represents the DASH! The Journey. Doesn’t matter if you got on the podium or were dead last. THE DASH MATTERS  

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